Saturday, November 20, 2010

Public Service Announcement From Dr. Emilio Lizardo: Adult Theater Etiquette



Doc here with a much needed refresher course on adult theater etiquette.  Those of you out there who have either met me in person or have conversed with me know I like to focus on only the positives in this thing of ours'. Why?  It's good for business.

The past few weeks I have witnessed some of the worse adult theater behavior by patrons I have ever seen. Let's start in Portland on Halloween weekend... 

The Paris Theater's unique layout with it's couple's oasis on an elevated platform at the rear of the theater makes for (if the mix of patrons is particularly rude) an uncomfortable zoo-like attraction for the gawkers and an uncomfortable setting for couples.  A rowdy group of younger Hispanic guys made both Friday night 10/29 and Saturday night 10/30 untenable. 

How bad was it?  The Good Doctor was this close to getting into an altercation with one of these guys on Saturday night who attempted to bully this former hockey player (something I do not kindly to).  I stood up to this gavone, and he eventually backed away.  Who need this at an adult theater?  No one.

Fast forward to The Lido Theater in Dallas, where aggressive behavior by group of guys ruined two couples who wanted to play with the general population.  All the guys had to do was listen to the male half of the couple who dictated the ground rules, and everyone would have had fun.  That night there were two blown opportunities that could have been instead great experiences.

The following is a list forwarded to me by my esteemed colleague, Old Marine Corps Guy on adult theater etiquette.  Do yourself a favor...Read it. Forward it. Live it. 

You never know... A little patience might get you some fun at an adult theater near you.
***
Guys, you HAVE to respect women when they come into a theater. It's not like it was back in the 70's and 80's when almost every couple (and a lot of single women too) that came into a theater was there to
play. Now it is almost a rarity for couples to come in so you have to give
them some room, and play it very carefully.

1. When a couple comes into a theater, stay in your seat. Let them
find a place to sit and get comfortable. See what they do and how
they act. That will give you an indication of what they are, or are
not, looking for.

2. If you feel that they want to play then let ONE (1) guy make a
respectful move close (DON'T SIT RIGHT NEXT TO THE WOMAN, OR DIRECTLY
BEHIND HER
). Look for what reaction you get. That will give an idea
of whether it's ok or not. KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS!!!
Remember, undercover LE is out there looking too.
Give it a few rubs to let them know that you are "friendly" :) and
see what develops. Don't be pushy. This will turn off even couples
who have come to play.

3. Keep in mind that the couple chooses who they want. If you have
made a move and they give you no sign that they are interested, then
get up and let someone else give a try. Different couples want
different things. You might, or might not be what they want. Don't
sit there and ruin someone elses chance for a play just because you
struck out. Everyone likes something different, white, black, brown,
tall, short, skinny, heavy, hairy, clean-shaven, young, old. Dosn't
matter. The couple gets to make the choice.

4. Let the couple be the guide. They are there for their (and maybe
your) enjoyment, so let them take the lead.

5. If action starts with one guy and the couple, then let him have
the play
. Don't everyone in the theater come crowding around and
bust up the play. If the couple wants more than one, or more than
one at a time, they will let the other players know.
Remember, show some respect and restraint. Let's all have some fun, but show some style too, guys.
***
Thanks OMCG.  Let's all hope some guys read this that need to and get a clue. 

This has been a public sevice announcement by The Journal of Adult Theaters.

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