Thursday, August 25, 2011

Op-Ed: An Open Letter To ItsMeJudy From The Good Doctor


"All,
I am currently experiencing so flight difficulties and may delayed. I will
advise.
Judy"


And with those fateful words, ItsMeJudy41 disappeared into the ethernet.  Doc here with an open letter to ItsMeJudy41, who pulled a Houdini and didn't appear as promised at the second Bukkake Blast @ the Oregon Theater in Portland last Friday.  Luckily, Kitty and Big T had a backup plan, and the evening was still a huge, sticky success. 

I have two reports in the hopper about the evening, and the success it ended up being despite ItsMeJudy41.  They will be up later on Friday and Saturday @ The Journal.

Now onto "Judy"... The Good Doctor emailed "Judy" early this week, asking for her comments on what happened, and her "flight delay" getting to Portland.  I always give people the first right of refusal if I am going to be critical of them.  I may be Sicilian, but I am fair.

And as you have probably guessed, I got no response.  I know Kitty has tried to reach "Judy" as well, and with similar results to The Good Doctor.

Here is what we know about "Judy":
  • "Judy" most likely lives in Michigan.

  • She is pretty bad at Photoshop. Work on your blend tool skills, Judy. A lot.

  • Weather was gorgeous here in the Midwest Thursday and Friday.

  • Unless she has perfected the medical procedure that allows her to swap her head with different bodies, she wasn't even good at matching bodies for her fraudulent R-rated photos posted to Kitty's Yahoo Group.

  • She has few internet footprints, aside from an interest in stripping posted to a BB, and she's a big fan of Papa Roach.

  • And, as well all know now, she joins the ranks of the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa as roommates.

So ItsMeJudy41, you got one over on us.  Nicely done.  But thanks to the hard work of good people like Kitty and Big T (as well as the great folks participating @ The Oregon Theater), you didn't matter.

If this has all been a huge mistake, please let me know here @ The Journal.  I will publish a retraction, and issue an apology.  Your side of the story would be appreciated by everyone.

However, if I was a betting man, I somehow think you won't write an email back to me. Again.

The real purpose of this open letter is to warn others interested in this thing of ours that people like ItsMeJudy41 exist, and chances are they suck at Photoshop.  A good friend of mine on the East coast had a fast one pulled on him in similar fashion in the Baltimore area (on the way to an adult theater to meet a lady), and they too had awful Photoshop skills.

So kids, if you see any of the photos below of "Judy" in another Yahoo Group, internet site, or see images with a similar degree of Photoshop awesomeness, be warned.  You are probably talking with The Tooth Fairy.

Sincerely,
Doc