As I stated on Friday 2/20, The Good Doctor is getting hammered in questions via e-mail as of late that as a whole, would benefit many readers of The Journal. Thus, the re-birth of The Good Doctor's Mailbag.
Well kids, we are officially kicking off the Mailbag with a great question from Ms. Pipy and her hubby. Here we go!
Greetings good Dr.. My wife and I are planning our first outing to an adult theatre. We are wondering if there are any do's and or dont's that we should be aware of?
Ms Pipy
Hello Ms Pipy... Great question, and one I get a few times a week. Here are a few strong suggestions to make that first trip fun, educational, and eager to return to the adult theater.
- Once you have identified the theater you want to visit, make a recon visit on an off night (a weeknight would be ideal). Most of the times, I suggest the Mr. make that trip, but a joint visit is even better. Get the lay of the land and answer part of the mystery of what is waiting for you once you enter the doors of the business. It should also help soothe any first night jitters.
- Before your first visit ladies, prepare a small "naughty bag" just in case you decide to jump into the deep end that first night. It should contain a couple bottles of water, wet wipes, condoms, lube, and maybe even a smaller beach towel to sit on just in case. A small flashlight doesn't hurt, in case you drop or need to check something. Whatever else makes sense for you.
- To the Mr... Part of your job is to escort your lady, and part of your job is security. If during this first trip you feel you are getting crowded in any way, you need to be demonstrative without being a douchebag. A firm "listen guys, we aren't playing with others, so please give us some room" will work very well. If that works for 4 out of the 5 guys, and 1 doesn't seem to get it, restate the above, but add in "if you don't give us some room, we are leaving." That will take care of the lone stranger that didn't get it the first time. And you now have marked your territory as the alpha dog in the room.
- Slow and steady wins the race in adult theaters. Don't feel pressured to do anything that first trip. For the first timers, there will be a lot to digest. Relax, make fun of the movie on screen in small talk with your partner, and lighten up the mood. Remember, the goal here is to come back again and take the next steps in your sexual fantasy.
- Go over the ground rules with your partner ahead of time. What is OK and what isn't. Nothing will cause an abrupt end to an adult theater trip than mis-communication.
- The busiest nights in this thing of ours are Friday and Saturday nights. If you want to experience the most of everything, then go one of those two nights. If you want to low key it at the start, try the week night or Saturday afternoon.
- I was speaking to a first time couple this past week at 15th Ave. Adult Theater in Chicago (Hi Girl Next Door!) and was answering some of their questions. They brought up something every first time couple brings up: "Why is it so quiet in the theater?" This is because the adult theater scene is anonymous by nature. That is part of the allure of the scene...The nameless, sometimes faceless stranger in a sexually charged environment. I suggest lightening up the mood with MST3K -like comments on the bad dialog of "Anal Bangers #13" showing on the screen.
Bottom line... Have fun with your first trip to an adult theater. Keep it light, and don't make it a long night either. Leave your partner wanting more. The next morning, you want to be able to look at your partner and say "I can't wait until we go back!"
In my 30 years in the scene, one thing is constant: Every visit is different, and along with that, the vibe. And that is what will have you coming back again and again.
Thanks,
Doc
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As a public service to you, the good readers of The Journal, I want to open up my e-mail to your questions about the adult theater scene. All you have to do is put "Mailbag Question" in the subject line, and send your questions to me at emiliolizardo1@gmail.com . Also include a pen name or initials for me to credit you for the question. Thanks!