Updated 5/26 at 4:30pm: Doc here... The amazing Max & Sarah will be visiting 15th Ave. Adult Theater in Melrose Park, IL TONIGHT around 9pm! If you read what Sarah has written below, or Max's account of the trip earlier this week, you know what may in store tonight!
See you tonight at 15th Ave!
Thanks,
Doc
***
Doc here, a man who some say won close to $600 on "Press Your Luck" back in the 1970's before making off with a lovely production assistant, with a special treat for you, the good readers of The Journal of Adult Theaters.
See you tonight at 15th Ave!
Thanks,
Doc
***
Doc here, a man who some say won close to $600 on "Press Your Luck" back in the 1970's before making off with a lovely production assistant, with a special treat for you, the good readers of The Journal of Adult Theaters.
On this past Monday 5/22, I published a terrific Couple's Flash Report from new contributors to The Journal Max and Sarah, highlighting their trips to 4 cities and their adult theaters. And it was glorious! Check it out HERE. (This report has received a TON of pageviews, so thank you!)
How about we double-down with Max and Sarah?
Upon seeing the original report (written by Max) on The Journal, Sarah jumped in, wrote her own report from her point of view, spelled out some very helpful rules of the road for both women and men, and then announced where Max & herself will be Friday night 5/26/17 (Hint: At an adult emporium near and dear to the Good Doctor's pants heart)
Here we go... Please welcome Sarah to The Journal!
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I’m Sarah, the hot 40-something redheaded girlfriend of the very hot Max. We have talked about writing reviews for so long and I am glad that he finally did it, as it has definitely inspired me to add my comments and suggestions, not only about the places that Max and I visited but theaters in general.
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| The Lovely Sarah |
First for women who might be considering a trip to the theater. I’d like to offer a few tips...
Tip #1- They are more afraid of you than you are of them.
In theaters as in life most men are FAR more afraid of you than you are of them. Max told me this the first time we went and it’s true. A woman in a theater is a rare thing and most men will exercise the utmost caution in order to not frighten you off. While Max typically does most of the ‘crowd control,’ I know that if I say something I will be listened to. Typically, I have to tell them to be a little more gentle. I am a delicate little flower…..who likes to fuck strange guys in theaters. I’m complicated.
Tip #2-The first time will be exciting and maybe a little scary.
Scary, only because you haven’t done anything like this before. Mostly they are just different. Until I had been to a theater I had never come across a place where I could just have sex with as many people as I wanted and not have to make conversation or play coy. I can be whoever I want to be! It is extremely liberating. But like anything, some theaters are more fun than others. I have only come across one theater that was actually scary, and not because anything bad actually happened. It was just a weird and off vibe. But more about that below.
Tip #3 Dress for the occasion.
So I am going to be a little blunt here. Theaters, while clean(ish) tend to have things on the floor that maybe you wouldn’t want on your jeans or pretty dress. Going to a theater is all about access. If you have to take your shoes off to take your pants off, your clothes might get on the floor, or your bare feet might be on the floor and who wants that? I actually have a pair of shoes that Max rolls his eyes at because it is such a production getting them off and on. Plan ahead. A dress is always best. Just lift it up and ta da! Max likes to make me hand him my underwear while we are in the theater with the guys watching. We ALL enjoy that. Plus it keeps my panties off the ground.
Tip #4 You can do everyone and everything or do nothing.
If you want to suck 10 dicks, you can probably do that. Fuck 4 guys? Sure, if that’s what you are into. Or you can go and watch and do NOTHING. As strange as it seems it is one of the most ‘ladies choice’ environments you will ever be in.
Tips for Men:
1. Look, some of you have crazy skills, some of you, not so much. Here’s something to keep in mind. If a woman is coming into a theater and is likely to fuck a bunch of guys, please, please do not come at her fast with a long, rough finger bang. She’s not into it and all it does is wear her and her beautiful vagina out.
2. Please cut your nails. I can’t tell you the number of times I have waved a hand away because his nails were long and were hurting me. It only takes a second. Every woman you meet after reading this will thank you.
3. Cleanliness. Take a few minutes and wash your junk. If a guy wants a nice blow job from me they had better be clean enough so I don’t mind having my face down there for a while.
4. Cologne. I like scent and perfume and if a guy is wearing cologne it’s usually fine. You know what’s not fine? Putting cologne on your dick. If you don’t believe me try this experiment. Go grab your favorite cologne. Spray it on your hand. Lick your hand repeatedly. Oh, you find this unpleasant? That is because it is. Don't do it. Ever.
5. Waiting to come. I get it, you want to impress a girl with how long you can fuck her without coming. But a girl at a theater isn’t here for the marathon. It’s a sprint guys. Fuck and come. That’s why we are all there. Unless it is only you and the woman than by all means take your time, but this is really more of a group effort fellas.
OK, so onto my reviews:
Houston
As Max said we checked out Collette and were disappointed. We love the one in Dallas but we won’t be back to Houston until there are more people there.
Smoochees in Houston really is a favorite. I have had two great experiences there, both on the couch in the very back room. And by the way, it is such a maze up there that the first time we went to Smoochees we almost left, thinking that there was no one there. We almost missed the far back room, and I am glad we didn’t because that is where the action was.
Smoochees in Houston really is a favorite. I have had two great experiences there, both on the couch in the very back room. And by the way, it is such a maze up there that the first time we went to Smoochees we almost left, thinking that there was no one there. We almost missed the far back room, and I am glad we didn’t because that is where the action was.
Our very first trip there last year was my first, real, taking on strangers in a theater adventure. We do put on a show every time and this is what I was talking about earlier. I can be whoever I want to be in there. In my real life I couldn’t be nearly as direct as I am in this environment. I love it when Max lifts my skirt and tells me what to do, like take off my panties. Sometimes, when I am sucking Max’s dick he will tell me to ‘make his friend happy’ and will pull my hair and guide my mouth onto the next guy waiting. And that is how it went our first trip to Smoochees, only this time, for the first time, I let 4 strangers fuck me. It was awesome and because of this Smoochees will always be a personal favorite.
Our most recent visit was just as good. As Max reported we were in the back room and a couple of guys got a turn and it was great. And the dirty talk! It was fantastic. To add to what Max said, a little dirty talk, whispered low in my ear…well it goes a long way. The guys were respectful and Max did a great job of encouraging participation from some of the more shy guys.
Later we drove out to Discount 24 Hour Video. Again, to expand on what Max said.
The clerk repeated my very unique name 3 times to the entire store. So if you have privacy concerns (as I do!) I wouldn’t go to this theater. The clerk also made a point of directing me to the women’s restroom that they try to ‘keep nice’ for when ladies visit. It was a dirty supply closet with a toilet and sink. When we went in the theater itself was actually pretty nice looking but the booths beyond that appeared to be a urine soaked maze of elderly men. It looked promising but in the 10 minutes we were there it pretty much broke every one of those promises.
San Diego
OK... I LOVED Barnett Adult Super Store and we went both Friday and Saturday night. It was the best. The sex shop was great and the staff couldn’t have been nicer. We went into the theater and started playing with each other. The guys crowded around pretty fast. That can get a little intimidating, especially when you can’t see how many there are. You just get a sense of bodies. Max didn’t like the look of one guy and sharply told him to step back. This jarred me a little bit as he usually isn’t that forceful and I thought something was wrong, but Max assured me all was fine. It was a ‘Daddy Chooses’ night on Friday. Max asked me to take off my panties and give them to him. He then told me to open my legs and spread them wide. I was holding onto the seats in front of me and Max picked 4 guys who fucked me hard until they came. I love putting on a show like that.
The next night I didn’t get let any guys fuck me. As Max wrote, the vibe was off. But it was still a great time. I sucked a few dicks until a couple came, one quite quickly!
San Francisco
The Power Exchange in San Francisco can be weird and slightly aggressive with a dangerous edge. But, whenever we have done stuff there it is always hot. The first time we went we stayed only in the couples area and fucked while 15 guys watched from the adjacent balcony. I love being watched like that and the Power Exchange provides ample opportunity for such shenannigans.
This time we went to the basement for another round of ‘Daddy Chooses’ and it was the scariest and most exciting thing we have ever done. In one of the small rooms Max had me get down on my knees and suck his dick. Men had gathered in the doorway, but the chain was up, which meant they couldn’t come in. Max told me to stand up and take off my panties and hand them to him. Then he told me to take my dress off. Then he told me to take the chain down.
Our most recent visit was just as good. As Max reported we were in the back room and a couple of guys got a turn and it was great. And the dirty talk! It was fantastic. To add to what Max said, a little dirty talk, whispered low in my ear…well it goes a long way. The guys were respectful and Max did a great job of encouraging participation from some of the more shy guys.
Later we drove out to Discount 24 Hour Video. Again, to expand on what Max said.
The clerk repeated my very unique name 3 times to the entire store. So if you have privacy concerns (as I do!) I wouldn’t go to this theater. The clerk also made a point of directing me to the women’s restroom that they try to ‘keep nice’ for when ladies visit. It was a dirty supply closet with a toilet and sink. When we went in the theater itself was actually pretty nice looking but the booths beyond that appeared to be a urine soaked maze of elderly men. It looked promising but in the 10 minutes we were there it pretty much broke every one of those promises.
San Diego
OK... I LOVED Barnett Adult Super Store and we went both Friday and Saturday night. It was the best. The sex shop was great and the staff couldn’t have been nicer. We went into the theater and started playing with each other. The guys crowded around pretty fast. That can get a little intimidating, especially when you can’t see how many there are. You just get a sense of bodies. Max didn’t like the look of one guy and sharply told him to step back. This jarred me a little bit as he usually isn’t that forceful and I thought something was wrong, but Max assured me all was fine. It was a ‘Daddy Chooses’ night on Friday. Max asked me to take off my panties and give them to him. He then told me to open my legs and spread them wide. I was holding onto the seats in front of me and Max picked 4 guys who fucked me hard until they came. I love putting on a show like that.
The next night I didn’t get let any guys fuck me. As Max wrote, the vibe was off. But it was still a great time. I sucked a few dicks until a couple came, one quite quickly!
San Francisco
The Power Exchange in San Francisco can be weird and slightly aggressive with a dangerous edge. But, whenever we have done stuff there it is always hot. The first time we went we stayed only in the couples area and fucked while 15 guys watched from the adjacent balcony. I love being watched like that and the Power Exchange provides ample opportunity for such shenannigans.
This time we went to the basement for another round of ‘Daddy Chooses’ and it was the scariest and most exciting thing we have ever done. In one of the small rooms Max had me get down on my knees and suck his dick. Men had gathered in the doorway, but the chain was up, which meant they couldn’t come in. Max told me to stand up and take off my panties and hand them to him. Then he told me to take my dress off. Then he told me to take the chain down.
I was terrified. I couldn’t even count how many men were there. I let the chain down and walked back into the room. Max told me to get on my knees again and start sucking his dick. As soon as the guys got close, and got the nod from Max, there were hands all over me. Max told me to stand and open my legs and face the wall. And then it just started. I felt one guy start fucking me while another guy got in front of me. I started sucking his dick while he talked dirty to me. and played with my hair. The better I sucked him the more he dirty-talked me and I loved it. God I may have to take a break from writing this to masturbate. It really was that good.
And they kept coming after that. There were so many and the hands were gentle but were all over me and never quit. I tapped out after 4, but Max wanted to see one more guy fuck me, so like the good girl that I am, spread my legs more as I lowered my ass to take this last guy who came really, really hard. The only reason I tapped out was my ankle hurt from my heels. Again guys, when you are fucking a woman in places like this it may be hot as fuck but it isn’t a bed and it can be hard physically. So please, do me a favor, don’t fuck me to death. Show me how much you like fucking me by coming for me. In me, on me, wherever. Just come for me.
Los Angeles
You would think that a den of iniquity like LA would have all of the hot spots. And you would be very wrong. The O Zone is exactly as Max described. The only hot thing was seeing the guy who was into Max. I LOVED that. But otherwise there wasn’t anything going on and in some places I felt particularly unwanted.
Studs -This is the only theater I have been to that has actually scared me. There was one guy in there yapping on his cell phone. I don’t know about you but there aren’t many people I could call and chat with and have porn playing LOUDLY in the background. That was just weird. There were a couple of guys there that just gave me a bad feeling. And when it comes to stuff like this I go with my intuition. Max will tell you, I rarely tap out, but I was in and out of Studs in less that 7 minutes. I wouldn’t go back on a dare. And I love a dare.
Los Angeles
You would think that a den of iniquity like LA would have all of the hot spots. And you would be very wrong. The O Zone is exactly as Max described. The only hot thing was seeing the guy who was into Max. I LOVED that. But otherwise there wasn’t anything going on and in some places I felt particularly unwanted.
Studs -This is the only theater I have been to that has actually scared me. There was one guy in there yapping on his cell phone. I don’t know about you but there aren’t many people I could call and chat with and have porn playing LOUDLY in the background. That was just weird. There were a couple of guys there that just gave me a bad feeling. And when it comes to stuff like this I go with my intuition. Max will tell you, I rarely tap out, but I was in and out of Studs in less that 7 minutes. I wouldn’t go back on a dare. And I love a dare.
Chicago
We are looking forward to Chicago this weekend and I am dying to see this table! Max and I have been talking about it all week. We hope to meet you there Dr. Lizardo and maybe some of your readers would be inclined to join us as well (ed. note: I am so there!)
Sarah
We are looking forward to Chicago this weekend and I am dying to see this table! Max and I have been talking about it all week. We hope to meet you there Dr. Lizardo and maybe some of your readers would be inclined to join us as well (ed. note: I am so there!)
Sarah
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Doc here again... Wow, where to start on this?
First of all, a huge thank you to Sarah for the reports and the dynamite adult theater etiquette for girls and guys alike. As a matter of fact, Sarah gave me approval to take the etiquette piece and give it a space for itself off the homepage of The Journal. Great job Sarah!
And those of you in and around Chicago on Friday night... Max and Sarah will be dropping by 15th Ave. Adult Theater at 9pm Friday night, where a thorough tour of the table and the facility is on tap. Join us if you like... Doctor's orders!
And trust me kids, if you don't join us you can just go home and grab your shine box. This Friday at 15th Ave. is for closers only.
Thanks,
Doc