Friday, January 4, 2013

Flash Report! Young Buck Hits San Diego's Adult Theaters

 
Doc here with a great first time report from 2013's newest contributor, Young Buck. This is a tale of his first trip to San Diego, and a learning experience in this thing of ours.
 
Take it away, Young Buck!
 
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The Misadventures of Young Buck Part 1: Young Buck has No Luck!

Friday Night 12/14/12
 
Armed with The Doc's handy dandy database (don't leave home without it kids), a fistful of condoms and a hopeful gleam in my eye, I gassed up the BuckMobile (*cough cough* *station wagon*) and headed out for my drive from the Inland Empire to Victory (or, so I thought)!
 
With the closing of the Ontario Deja Vu (many tears), I had decided on San Diego for my first foray into the unknown. I had seen a posting on Craigslist from a pair of ladies saying they would be at the Barnett Superstore this past Friday at 7:30, so I figured it would be a good place to start. After getting stuck in traffic (note to travelers: heading into SD at 5 on a Friday?  Don't!), I arrived at my destination at 8pm; 30 minuets past the time listed in the ad.
 
Figuring that I might be able to at least catch the tail end of the action I wandered into the back arcade. Knowing nothing of such places, I did not realize that I had walked right past the (barely marked) theater door on my way into the arcade, not exactly sure where to buy my ticket. The area that usually has live girls was roped off. Thinking the theater was past there, I asked the man with the mop if the theater was closed. To this all I got was "tomorrow". I'm now guessing he thought I meant the live girls area, but at the time I slinked off with my tail between my legs to figure out what to do next. 
 
Jolar Theatre
San Diego
Having heard mixed reviews of the Jolar Theater, I decided that it would be my next stop. I arrived and walked into the shop, which seemed somewhat small and underwhelming after the grandeur of the Barnett shop (fantastic shop, huge selection, really friendly staff). I go up to the bullet proof glass (charming) and ask for a ticket. Wandering past the live girl booths (not interested that night but the girls were actually pretty hot), I got back to the arcade and again, wasn't quite sure where to go. I found the bathroom, the back door, the janitors closet and the other back door before noticing the door tucked into the huge black wall with the porn sounds coming from it (duh!).
 
I held up my ticket to the camera and got buzzed in. I walked into the first room (straight porn) and then peeked into the second (gay and straight) and didn't see any action - just a lot of guys. I took a seat in the first room to wait. It didn't take too long before a short Mexican guy asked if I wanted to suck him, or, um, him to suck me, or, well, actually, I'm not entirely sure. What little Spanish I ever learned in high school is 12 years stale, and his English wasn't much better. I did my best to let him know, polity  that that wasn't what I was here for and he let off, more or less.

(Quick disclaimer folks: The Jolar Theater seems to be a nice enough place, with very friendly staff and decent selection. The theaters are pretty good sized and seemed clean enough, and the live show girls are friendly and attractive without being annoyingly pushy. Any negativity that may come across is in response to my personal experience, on one night, and should not dissuade anyone from trying it for themselves.)
 
Feeling a little cramped with all the other guys around, I stepped out for a smoke. While out there I saw a cute young black couple coming from the parking lot. They were both sharply dressed, her in black pants and a nice red blouse. They had a first date look about them, and she was a little tipsy, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I pitched the cig and followed them in. While they bought their tickets, I wandered back to the theater to grab a seat. They came in and sat down in the second row back, so I hopped back to sit across the aisle to see what happened.
 
As they were getting settled my little Mexican friend was back and, sitting down next to me, started to chat them up. She spoke Spanish so they got to talking, and joking. The guy didn't look so happy, and neither was I. That went on for a while and it didn't seem that much was going to happen. I kept my eye on them and eventually they wandered to the other side. I would peek in from time to time, but they were just cuddled up, with no sign of anything happening  Feeling restless again I wandered back out for some more "fresh air" and poked around the shop for a bit. 
 
Before too long another couple came in. Middle-aged Hispanic, don't really remember the guy but the woman was cute, shorter, trim, smaller rack but a short white miniskirt that said "ready to go" all over it. They got their tickets and I followed them in. They were peeking around the arcade so I jumped into the theater. A few minutes went by and I got up to go see if they were still out there, and just as I was, they were coming in. They got about half way down the entrance hall, pushing past a few lurkers, and saw the crowd.  They turned right around and left. Arg! 
 
Adult Deport I
San Diego
 
Thoroughly frustrated I walked out to the car and pulled up the database. I saw Adult Depot and Adult Depot II listed in the area, so I figured I'd check them out. As I was pulling up to Adult Depot I (small shop, two decent sized theaters) I noticed the occasional cop car patrolling around, (nice neighborhood). I bought a ticket and when I walked in to the second theater, I saw a mob of guys, dicks out stroking, around a seat in the back. I saw long blonde hair and wandered back for a better look. Blondy had a mouthful so I couldn't get a good look. I inched closer to try and see the action better, and then realized that it was a, not particularly passable, t-girl. Did I mention it was dark?
 
At that same moment of realization, before I even knew what was happening, I felt my zipper go down and a hand pull out my meat. I looked down and a guy (not exactly bad looking, just not the way I swing) is on his knees with my dick halfway to his mouth. How forward! With a nervous smile and a stuttered "th-thanks but no thanks" I stepped back, zipped up and wandered to the other theater to grab a seat and see if anything happened. Well, it did. Pushy guy comes over, sits next to me (with me on the inside to the wall), reaches over and starts rubbing my junk. Jeez guy, take a hint. With that I hopped up, squeezed past him, and walked out of the theater to my car. As I was gathering my wits and pulling up directions for Adult Depot II I realized pushy guy had come out too, and as I'm pulling out, so was he. He was right behind me for the first turn or two and, I have to admit, I was a little creeped out. However, on the next turn he went straight and I let out a sigh or relief.

Next I hit Adult Depot II. I'll make this quick: Even smaller shop, even sketchier, one tiny theater, two guys sitting in there looking bored. I gave it a couple minutes and then just left.
 
At this point it's probably about 11pm, and I'm just about ready to give up. Just then I heard a little voice, from deep inside me, say "Buck up Bucky, the night is young." Or maybe it was coming from deep inside my pants. Anyhoo! I pulled myself up by the boot straps and soldiered on back to the Jolar, seeing as I still had some time left on my ticket.
 
Once I got back I saw a number of couples poking around the shop so I wandered back to the theater. I fond a seat and resigned myself to be patient. After a while of waiting a couple comes in and sits down. There's even more guys now than before and they all perk up at the new arrival.
 
Some time goes by and they continue to sit there, and sit there. Then they get up and move back a row, with the guys still keeping their distance  And then they keep sitting there, doing nothing. When some seats in the back row open up they move back there. I keep peeking back to keep an eye on the action, or lack there of. Eventually I get up and go out to have a smoke. On my way out there I notice an older couple sitting in their car, and make a note to keep an eye on them. 
 
Half way through my smoke, a car pulls in with what appears to be two ladies. Hmm, interesting. They park and the driver gets out, and asks me for a cigarette. She's probably late thirties, smoking hot Latin, nice face, great body, and a huge rack (looked enhanced) straining her lace-up blouse. I realized it was sheer with no bra when she turned into the light and I could make out here nipples. (From this point on I shall call you Megatits.) The night (as well as my buckhood) was finally looking up.
 
We get to chatting while she smokes (at that moment I realize I just gave her my last one, oh no) and I ask what they're up to. "Nothing." Where they're coming from? "Just came form the big place over in Spring Valley", and eventually got to asking if they were going to be going in. (P.S. If anyone knows what place she was talking about, please let me know, this was the second time I heard it referred to). She said that they might be, but they "didn't have any cash." Well, there's an ATM inside, and I was so tired of striking out, I offered to cover them if they were down to play. She then tells me that I have to talk to her friend who is still sitting in the car. Nice, a friend! I go around to the other side of the car and the friend rolls down the window.
 
Well, she wasn't great. Also mid to late thirties, Hispanic, but kinda dumpy. (From this point on you shall be called... Hey You) Oh well, if it meant getting in with Megatits (all hail Megatits, destroyer of cocks), I was willing to bite that bullet. Plus I was pretty sure that there would be someone in the theater that would be happy to take Hey You off my hands. What can I say, I'm ever the gentleman, Ha!
 
I should note that during all of this I noticed a guy standing next to the Older Couple's car with his hand through the passengers side window, the side with the lady. Hmm, something to check out.
 
Well, suffice to say the social intercourse with Hey You and Megatits went south, and not in a good way. What they were looking for, and what Young Buck was hoping for were two different currencies. And to make matters worse, just as I'm walking towards the older couple's car they pull away. Damn It!

I get back in the theater, in a very sour mood, and notice the couple from earlier is still there, still doing nothing. There's a tall black guy in the corner with his dick out, working away, a few feet from them. I grab a seat a few rows forward and peek back from time to time to see if anything happens. Yup, you guessed it; it doesn't! It's not long before they get up and leave. Needless to say I wasn't far behind heading for my car. By this point it's late, I'm tired, utterly dejected and have balls so black and blue it looked like a couple of Smurfs duking it out under a bridge. I finally pull away and make the long, lonely drive home to lick my wounds.
 
~~~
 
But fear not intrepid readers! The story does not end here, though it does take a brief pause for now. 
More to Cum! Don't Miss Part Two: Young Buck Gets His Horns!- Young Buck learns that good things come to those who wait.
 
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Doc here again... Many thanks to Young Buck for an outstanding and entertaining first time report. We are looking forward to you getting your horns, sir, and the subsequent reports.  Great job!
 
Thanks,
Doc