Sunday, June 26, 2011

Flash Report: The Duke of Pearl Takes One For The Team in Portland

Doc here with the latest report from Portland field reporter, The Duke of Pearl. Duke's approach to this adult theater visit has a couple of unexpected twists and turns, so hang in there.

So without further ado, here is The Duke of Pearl...


Last Saturday evening I had the urge to go to at least one of our adult theaters that we are privileged to have here in Portland, OR. I didn’t want to go alone to The Paris, and be just another member of the penis gallery as The Doctor as so aptly named it. So, I called an escort service in hopes of finding a lovely young lady who would want to participate in “this thing of ours.” I told the screener exactly what I was looking for and what my plans were. Therefore I wanted only to talk to Exhibitionists and I would select one of them and gladly pay the going rate plus a generous tip.

As the girls began to call I was able to quickly weed them out one by one. The first two couldn’t define the word, “Exhibitionist.” To cut to the chase with you readers, I finally selected a woman who described herself as early 20s, blonde, blue eyes, 34B, 5’ 6” and 115 pounds. She emailed a photo to me and I quickly agreed to take her to an adult theater even if it was her first time. I told her that she would be ogled and stared at from the minute she walked in the door, that there would be no shortage of men of all ages, sizes, and colors with their cooks in their hands and drool from their mouths jostling for position to get close to her. I also told her I would protect her from any physical harm which rarely happens in these gentle places.

I picked her up at 9pm and we had a 15 minute drive to the theater from her place. We parked and walked a couple of blocks through the Portland drizzle and entered the theater. She was even better looking than the photo she had sent to me plus she looked well scrubbed, looked like she had low mileage, she even smelled good, and was naturally pretty enough that she didn’t need to cake makeup on to look presentable. She looked exactly like that pretty ‘kid’ next door we all dream about. Yeah, yeah, yeah… I had to pay for it. So what.

No sooner than we got in the lobby than she said she had to go to the bathroom. I showed her the way and she came out a minute later with her nose wrinkled up and complaining about the stinky restroom. Okay, I had forgotten to mention that part.

 We got inside the screening room and let our eyes adjust to the darkness. She followed me clinging to my arm to the couples section. There was one other couple in there lustfully fucking while 12 railbirds stood there jacking their dicks. We took a seat on a couch at the other end of the section. She cuddled close and I felt her trembling in her nervousness. I put my hand softly on her naked thigh and began to rub it in soothing strokes. The railbirds made a mass shift to our side of the room. The only sound in the room was from the theater speakers and the juicy sound of wanking behind us. I slipped the strap off her shoulder and bared a stunningly beautiful young tit with that prize of all prizes, a perfectly round and pink PUFFY nipple! As I cupped her little tit in my palm for all to see, we could hear, “Arrrgg, Fuck!” At least two guys shot their wad at the same time. I think I felt a drop of jizz hit the back of my neck. There was the sound of shuffling behind us as the guys kept jostling for a clearer view. And then it happened:

 She glanced from side to side, pulled up her strap to cover her precious nipple and whispered, “I don’t like this! It’s too creepy.”

 Minutes later we sat in a bar a block from the theater and I began lecturing her. “You are not an exhibitionist if you can’t stand voyeurs. Women who frequent these theaters LIKE to have men staring at them and feel FLATTERED when they jack off in front of them. Most men who go there are there to simply watch and don’t expect anything more. If they get to feel one of your body parts for a second or two that’s a great evening for them and really more than they expected. They stand around and jack and stare because they figure YOU came there to be appreciated! Otherwise you would have stayed home and had sex like normal people do.”

Doctor, I have to laugh with scorn at the naiveté of people who refer to these guys as ‘vultures’ or other names of disrespect. I’ve been going to these places to do “this thing of ours” for many years. This behavior is nothing new and if it ever changes there will be no need for these places. If you aren’t an exhibitionist, stay home!


The Duke of Pearl


Doc here again... Of all the adult theaters in all of this country, no adult theater has the voyeuristic vibe that The Paris Adult Theater in Portland exhibits. A strong arguement can be made that The Paris is more about voyeurism than it is about gen pop theater sex.  So imagine this young lady in the midst of the busiest adult theater in the country, and being the focal point of this attention.  Consider this a learning experience for this young woman. That or the fodder of countless visits to her shrink.

Thanks again to The Duke for another entertaining report. Keep up the great work, sir.

Do you have an adult theater report you'd like to submit to The Journal?  Just e-mail Shaft, ya damn right The Good Doctor at, and I will edit and format your report.  It's like a detail shop... You bring in your car, and I detail the interior, wash the exterior, and you drive away with the great looking ride.