Thursday, August 9, 2012

Field Report! Jay Owen on Secrets Theater in Oakland and Funville in Vallejo, CA

Doc here with a Field Report on Secrets Adult Theater in Oakland, CA.

Here is Jay Owen and his report...


Dear Good Doctor,

Your database lists the Secrets Theater in Oakland as the only theater in the Bay Area. While I largely agree, and it is the best adult theater in the Bay Area, there is another one just north of Oakland in the city of Vallejo. It's called "Funville".

I'm not kidding, that's the name of the place, Funville. It's located at 2700 Sonoma Blvd in Vallejo, on the corner of Indiana Street and Sonoma. It costs $10 to get in the theater, it shows straight porn, has seats for about 75 and a bathroom inside the theater. They are also an adult book store with a tiny arcade with really tiny booths that I never see anyone use. Now the reality part; it's seedy, it never gets cleaned (very well) people smoke cigarettes inside the theater, the screen is old, the projector is older and the sound is horrible. Many of the seats are broken and the bathroom is downright filthy. With that said, they are very patron friendly. The staff doesn't care what goes on inside as long as no one is making too much noise or getting hurt. I have seen M/F couples in there, but that is rare. It's mostly men looking for M2M play. Lot's of married men go there to "rub one out" so to speak. Lots of nudity and open jacking going on in there. Lots of sexual activity between men in the bathroom too.

If it was cleaner, if the seats were not broken and if there was women's only restroom  I bet more couples would go there. Until then, it will remain a seedy old porn theater for seedy old men.

Given the choice, the Secrets theater in Oakland is better. They only charge $7 to get in, only $5 for 55 & older. Their seats are newer, the projector and sound are better (they need to fix the focus again on their projector) and their arcade is much better with bigger booths and more movie selection. Still, not may couples go there, not sure why. The Secrets store is nice, well lit, clean and has friendly staff. Couples do come in to buy adult toys and movies, but don't venture in to the theater much. Ah, we can't all be like Portland. Too bad.

Respectfully submitted by Jay Owen.