Sunday, June 12, 2011

Flash Report: Bob in Biloxi Reports In From The Gulf Coast (while playing hurt)

Doc here... After a week of national turmoil with the stock market and Weiner-gate, we all can rest a bit easier. Why? Senior Reporter Bob in Biloxi is back off the disabled list and has submitted his weekly report. 

Here he is...Height unknown. Weight unknown. Hailing from parts unknown. It's Bob from Biloxi!


Hey Doc,

Gulf Coast Theater
Biloxi, MS
Your senior correspondent reporting in from the beautiful Gulf Coast! Last night I braved the elements (humidity and “warmth”) and rode down to check what I had been missing. Seems the Gulf Coast Theater received 5 couples on Saturday, two arriving before said correspondent, however with some investigative digging I have the following to report.

First couple up was a BBW, raven haired, dressed for playing short lady. Reports have her taking on the entire theater! The second couple was a bit older and generally just come to watch the movies (yeah I said WTF too?).

After I arrived a regular couple showed up, (the Vulture Club) calls them the “German Couple”, I have no idea why, but she usually takes on the whole theater as well. Tonight, they played among themselves. Then a black couple came in, they also “just” watched the movie. After that a semi-regular couple came in, I spoke to them, they told me they were waiting on another couple (which is usually the case). We caught up and I left to go down to the ABS.

Bob in Biloxi
Upon parking the bitching Burnt Orange 4-Dr Dodge Ram, complete Hyper-Tech tuner, Magna-Flow exhaust and BBK cold-air induction system, I walked in and lo and behold the owner was working!!! He knows I only chase the skirts, so when he looked at me and started shaking his head I knew that I had arrived much too early. That’s what I thought anyway.

He told me this Saturday has been the slowest on record for him since he opened. Not to worry, Bob is now in town and it won’t be long before the crowds rush the joint. That’s what I thought anyway. Doc, from 7pm to 12 midnight there was not one single couple that ventured back to the booths. Furthermore, only two couples entered the business for the purpose of rubber dick shopping. I spent the above time in my truck with the windows rolled down enjoying the ocean breeze. Then it stopped and became almost unbearable due to the humidity coupled with the 90 degree nighttime heat. But I hung in there waiting! Believe me there’s nothing on TV Saturday nights.

Such as it goes in this thing of ours sometimes, I will say that a dull night on the Coast, beats KC in anytime! And there’s always next weekend!! Still battling the sinus deal here, hopefully I can get back to my fighting weight next Saturday.



Doc here again... I think we need to give a big thank you to Bob for playing hurt this week.  He went, got the skinny on the nights action, patiently waited for the game to come to him, and didn't complain one iota when it didn't.  Not to worry Bob... The Paris Theater in Portland seemed to have an off night as well (6 couples on a Saturday night). Next week will be a different story, here in the Naked City.

Do you have an adult theater report you would like to submit to The Journal of Adult Theaters?  Just e-mail Sargent Hulka The Good Doctor at emiliolizardo!  I will assist you in editing and formatting your piece.  All you have to to is supply the raw report.