Take it away, sir!
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The Black Hat Ponders: What are the 4 Majors in This Thing of Ours?
Following the sports theme the good Dr. brought to us in March, I was struck with an idea this week as the world’s top golfers descended on Augusta, Georgia for the Masters, the first of professional golf’s 4 Major Tournaments. What if the Journal had Majors?
I thought some more and concluded that I should suggest that the Dr. poll the readers to decide what are the 4 major adult theaters in the United States that we should all aspire to collect. To get things started, yours truly would argue for the following three to be considered.
The Art Cinema, Harford, CT- A class operation run by great management. It is clean, safe and secure and the patrons are usually patient and well behaved. There are great traditions here; the private couples balcony, Ernie greeting you in the lobby, single males straining for a glimpse of couples action from down by the screen like a knowledgeable gallery at Augusta. Couples are plentiful but selective, making it anything but a sure thing for single guys and that’s why I think its The Masters. Accept the vibe, respect the scene and with a little luck and favorable conditions you may just get it in the hole.
Berlin News Agency, Berlin, NJ- another well operated establishment that has a challenging but forgiving course. On any given day anything can happen at Berlin News, from gang bangs to couples just putting on a show in the theater to Glory Hole girls making you die for a chance to make the cut and get into the booth next door. Berlin has an everyman (or woman) feel to it. A place where no matter the time or day, the crowd or conditions, you feel like you have a shot. For this and many other reasons, The Black Hat considers BNA the U.S. Open in this thing of ours.
15th Ave Theater and Spa- Chicago, IL- A top notch theater and adult playground that is well managed and maintained and hosts a variety of special events. This is a serious venue for serious participants in this thing of ours that includes a theater with a behind the screen dark room, a video booth area with glory holes, a spa with a steam room, private rooms and a general gathering area. All are welcoming places for spirited play. I don’t want to use the word “professionals”, but people at play at 15th Ave know what they are doing and are damn good at it. Real good at it. This is why I conclude that 15th Ave is The PGA Championship of adult theaters.
For the 4th Major, I am just stumped. I’ve been to a few theaters and ABS’ with theaters in my day but none of them live up to the spirit and commitment of patrons at these three. That said, I have yet to visit CT’s in Gary, IN , The Oregon and The Paris in Portland, OR or The Lido, Dallas, TX (and I mean no disrespect to any great venues I have neglected to mention here). From what I've read, they sound like they would be in contention for a place on our list. If my rationale above holds true, then we are solving for the British Open, the oldest and most storied in the game. Do any of these live up to that standard? Let Doc know and hit em straight. I look forward to seeing you all on the course.
Fore!
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Doc here again... I am very interested in hearing your experiences. Just e-mail them to me at the link above!
Thanks
Doc
