Friday, December 18, 2015

Breaking News! 1 Adult Theater Closed, Another in 2016 - Report by Jay Owen

Doc here, a man who some say once ran confectionery and bait shop somewhere in the Midwest, specializing in the best crullers and night crawlers in town. 

Oy vey, another piece of bad news from this thing of ours. New contributor Jay Owen has informed The Good Doctor that two well-known adult theaters in Northern California are either closed now or scheduled to close in 2016.

You can imagine this news sucks out loud. California has almost wiped out all of it's hetero-friendly adult theaters, save for San Diego's 4 theaters *see which ones in the adult theater database at the top of this page). 

Please welcome to The Journal Jay Owen and his update on the state of these NoCal adult theaters.


Funville Amusement - CLOSED
Vallejo, CA
Dr. Lizardo,

I bring sad news to this thing of ours. News of two theater closures in Northern California. One done. One eminent.

1. Funville Theater and adult book store in Vallejo, CA is closed. It closed with little or no warning back in October I believe. They have a Facebook page (search for "Funville Amusement Center" on FB) that says they hope to re-open somewhere, someday. I'm not holding my breath.

2. The Secrets store in Oakland, CA on Broadway at 2nd street is scheduled to close "sometime in 2016" is all the staff would say. The store staff said they have no plans to relocate the theater since they have other smaller stores in the region. These smaller Secrets stores have arcades but no theaters. In a recent article in the newspaper, the author stated that the property owner has plans to demo and/or remodel all buildings and develop something new on the valued site. 

Oakland, CA
(2016 Closure Reported)
That area near Jack London Square is undergoing a renaissance. Property values are skyrocketing. Rents are doubling, tripling and even quadrupling for updated buildings. This particular Secrets store houses a large theater, an arcade with about 10 large booths, and a well stocked store. It will be sad to see the last theater in the greater San Francisco Bay Area close its doors for good. 

The greater SF Bay Area is slowly bowing to gentrification and development. Property values are climbing steadily. Small operations can no longer afford to stay in the region unless the they own the property too. Even then it's hard to not succumb to the dollars and increased income values of commercial properties in the region. My only hope is that someone who values this thing of ours and has the resources could establish an adult themed venue that has a theater, a retail store, arcade and/or a club scenario where sexually explorative adults can go to play safely with one another.

I for one will certainly miss the theater scene in the region. In the last twenty years we have seen numerous adult theaters close all over the region, including theaters in our state Capital, Sacramento. Sigh. I may have to look into relocating to Portland.

Respectfully submitted,

Jay Owen


Doc here again... Many thanks to Jay and his update.  Even though this is not good news to this thing of ours, it is an indicator that adult theaters/ABS locations need to adjust their business models to remain healthy enough to survive in today's turbulent times. 

If there are any adult theaters or businesses out there that would like The Good Doctor's marketing help (I work with two of the largest and fastest growing adult theaters in the country right now), please e-mail The Good Doctor at .  I may have a few tricks up my sleeve that could help grow your business.