Friday, May 21, 2010
A National Call for Reports and Reviews by The Good Doctor
Doc here with a call to arms! The Good Doctor needs your reviews, reports, and past rememberances of adult theaters. Whether it's a new report, a profile of your hometown haunt, or a vivid memory of that "one time at that adult theater when that woman walked in...", The Journal needs you.
I am working on a few brand new "House Calls" that will be published in the next week or two. However, what makes The Journal thrive is you. So join the ranks of Brent in Portland, Sable in Seattle, Bob in Biloxi, OldBeatNik, JaxBchBum, and Curly.
Put pen to paper. Then e-mail The Good Doctor at emiliolizardo1@gmail.com. And then, MAGIC! Your report will be seen by the hundreds of visitors this blog gets each day.
So put down your Doritos and lets see what you have.
It's easy.
Trust me, I'm a Dr.
I-Team Report: The Kansas City Scene (or lack thereof)
Doc here with a repost from an entry in the comments section regarding what is not going on in Kansas City.
***
The state of things in K.C. is accurately described.
Erotic City - passed into history. A wimpy ABS still exists there, but the freewheeling booth area in the back is closed for good.
Bazookas - Smallish theaters (75 seats or so), an occasional couple or two, but almost no playing. They usually hook up and go somewhere else. Kansas City ordinances dictate no doors on the video booths.
The Strand - nasty, smelly pit of a place. Lots of broken/missing seats in the theater. About 99% M/M. Both Bazookas and the Strand periodically get raided. No doors on the few video booths there either.
There are no ABS gloryholes left in town, as far as I know.
The Olde Un in Columbia is a great place but about a two-hour trip from K.C. Big ABS in front, nice hallway full of booths with huge gloryholes toward the rear (the gloryholes are actually hinged, lockable doors you can stick your whole head through, which may not be enough anonymity for some folks), and in the back three "theaters." The theaters are each about living room size with couches arranged around and a big screen TV at one end showing porn. One theater is couples only, one is "coed," meaning singles and couples allowed, and one shows gay porn. Many couples on the weekends and lots of playing. Some of the braver couples venture into the coed theater occasionally for showing off or playing. It's a great place, very clean, not a dive, and a relaxed atmosphere.
***
Doc here again... The only theater I have heard of personally was The Strand, but in name only.
Thanks to the anonymous poster who provided the I-Team worthy report. If you have any intel ony anything adult theater related, please e-mail The Good Doctor at emiliolizardo1@gmail.com.
Thanks,
Doc
***
The state of things in K.C. is accurately described.
Erotic City - passed into history. A wimpy ABS still exists there, but the freewheeling booth area in the back is closed for good.
Bazookas - Smallish theaters (75 seats or so), an occasional couple or two, but almost no playing. They usually hook up and go somewhere else. Kansas City ordinances dictate no doors on the video booths.
The Strand - nasty, smelly pit of a place. Lots of broken/missing seats in the theater. About 99% M/M. Both Bazookas and the Strand periodically get raided. No doors on the few video booths there either.
There are no ABS gloryholes left in town, as far as I know.
The Olde Un in Columbia is a great place but about a two-hour trip from K.C. Big ABS in front, nice hallway full of booths with huge gloryholes toward the rear (the gloryholes are actually hinged, lockable doors you can stick your whole head through, which may not be enough anonymity for some folks), and in the back three "theaters." The theaters are each about living room size with couches arranged around and a big screen TV at one end showing porn. One theater is couples only, one is "coed," meaning singles and couples allowed, and one shows gay porn. Many couples on the weekends and lots of playing. Some of the braver couples venture into the coed theater occasionally for showing off or playing. It's a great place, very clean, not a dive, and a relaxed atmosphere.
***
Doc here again... The only theater I have heard of personally was The Strand, but in name only.
Thanks to the anonymous poster who provided the I-Team worthy report. If you have any intel ony anything adult theater related, please e-mail The Good Doctor at emiliolizardo1@gmail.com.
Thanks,
Doc
Monday, May 17, 2010
The Good Doctor's Referral: The World of MajorVoyeur
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Monday Night @ The Movies: Hump! The Strangers Amateur Porn Festival
Doc here with this week's Monday Night @ The Movies. This week is a double-feature. First is a brief trailer for the Hump! Amateur Porn Festival in Seattle, and the 2nd feature is a report of reactions to the festival by exiting moviegoers.
Get out the Junior Mints and enjoy!
Doc
***
Get out the Junior Mints and enjoy!
Doc
***
Sunday, May 16, 2010
New Feature! I-Team Report: Inside The Good Doctor's Power Rankings
Remember way back when your local newscast would commit to an investigative report. They would deploy their "I-Team". Headed by the biggest hard-ass on their news staff, no one was safe from their reporting tactics.
Today, The Good Doctor has unleashed his own I-Team, to get the inside poop on his Adult Theater Power Rankings. You have questions, we will get the answers.
What criteria is used to determine the rankings?
#1 Field reports via the net
#2 Cooperation and couple frendliness of the theater
#3 Condition of the theater
#4 Advance or present-time posting of events or visits to the theater (example would the Red Flag reports from The Paris Theater, or the "NOW" reports from CTs in Gary)
#5 Craigslist postings
#6 Where applicable, The Good Doctor's House Calls
I hope this adds some clarity to the power rankings. Now back to the studio, where Cleet has the latest from the sports desk.
Doc
Today, The Good Doctor has unleashed his own I-Team, to get the inside poop on his Adult Theater Power Rankings. You have questions, we will get the answers.
What criteria is used to determine the rankings?
#1 Field reports via the net
#2 Cooperation and couple frendliness of the theater
#3 Condition of the theater
#4 Advance or present-time posting of events or visits to the theater (example would the Red Flag reports from The Paris Theater, or the "NOW" reports from CTs in Gary)
#5 Craigslist postings
#6 Where applicable, The Good Doctor's House Calls
I hope this adds some clarity to the power rankings. Now back to the studio, where Cleet has the latest from the sports desk.
Doc
"The Venus and The Fox": Article about the Vancouver Adult Theater Scene
Doc here with a reprint of an terrific article from the "The Cultural Gutter" website titled "The Venus and The Fox". Written by Robin Bougie, it is a fascinating look inside Vancouver's adult theater landscape (article was published in 2007).
As of right now, The Fox Theater is still open, but there is pressure from the Vancouver business licensing board to revoke their license. While their days may be numbered, it doesn't take away from this inside look at The Venus and The Fox.
***
The Venus and the Fox
by Robin Bougie
The Venus Theatre is what one might call a disgusting shithole. Located in Vancouver at 720 Main Street, in what most refer to as the toughest, roughest neighbourhood in all of Canada, the Venus is the kind of entertainment venue where you have to be a total badass to even show up -- heck there's a scary biker bar right next door. So why would one forego a nice relaxed jerk-off session provided by your home entertainment system for this inhospitable level of hell?
The element of danger, that's why. The streetwalking hookers. The drugs. The sleaze. The grime. The smell of sweat and sex. Oh, and pizza. They sold stale cardboard-looking pizza for 99 cents a slice in the lobby until just a couple years ago. I never worked up the nerve to put it my my mouth.
This classic two-tiered building (at one time a majestic vaudeville theatre called "THE IMPERIAL" which opened in 1912) is now the kinda smut den yo' mama warned you about, with the upper balcony where most of the public debauchery happens. You take your life in your hands going up those stairs, and a valid fear of touching any surface in the place is replaced by concern for falling flat on your ass due to the fact that the only light is provided by the crappy old-fashioned 3-light video system illuminating the screen with it's hardcore pink images flashing, flickering and moaning.
The scene is a tad nightmarish. Chairs held to together with duct tape, wads of used toilet paper on the floor, constant eerie moaning crackling out of the soundsystem speakers, the hazy stench of piss in the air -- and at any given time a guy getting sucked by a hooker or another guy. Humanoid shapes in the darkness take in the action, leering and waiting.
Couples can rent a VIP room and watch movies in private, but most freaks just crash out on one of the filthy couches positioned at the bottom of the balcony seating. Here they smoke some rock, get their cocks sucked, or watch someone else getting a BJ. But it's buyer beware, as the whores in there are diseased, practically feral, and been known to rip off their customers. The late ‘90s XXX video on the screen seems totally secondary, and just playing for atmosphere.
Rumor has it the owners are getting ready to sell the property, which will no doubt lead to it being bulldozed. Half-a-million dollar condos have sprung up all around the block the Venus inhabits, and with the real estate market the way it is in Vancouver right now, the smart money is on its demise coming much sooner than later. I'll be very surprised if it survives to 2008, in fact.
Further up the hill on Main street on the 2300 block is my neighbourhood porn theatre -- The Fox. I live about 7 blocks away, but for years never ventured anywhere near it since it was obvious that only gay dudes went in there to cruise for other gay dudes. Like the Venus, it seemed like asking for trouble to even buy a ticket, but as I became more entrenched in publishing my magazine Cinema Sewer, which is focused on classic porn and exploitation, getting to know the place on an intimate level became a priority.
I couldn't ignore the building's unique presence what with the constant 365-day-a-year screenings of old skool favourites starring naked luminaries such as Seka, Serena, John Holmes, and Jamie Gillis. I would go on to see some of my favourite porn films to this day in that theatre, sipping smuggled in beer and munching Chinese rice crackers.
My first experience at the Fox wasn't a great one. I walked in off the street and asked for an interview with the first person inside that I saw, which got me kicked right out of the place almost before I could finish my sentence. I mean, if the Chinese guy (who I later found out was a fellow named Mr. Li) working there had a broom in his hand, I'm sure he would have chased me out the door beating my head with it. I pointed at my camera and stammered out an assurance that I was friendly, and that I just wanted a few words with him -- but thanks to the language barrier and his intensely paranoid attitude, I didn't get any.
Quite by chance I later befriended a guy that would go on to become a Cinema Sewer contributor and stage his own successful "Return to Porno Chic" events at the Fox -- Dmidtrui Otis. He came into the music store I was working in and asked for porn soundtracks, and we found that we had a mutual interest in the history of these movies, as well as the Fox. A history that over the years we would excitedly share with one another as we deduced more and more of its timeline.
Our first exciting discovery (well OK -- it was Dmidtrui's discovery, but "our" sounds better) was that this unassuming little shit-scab of a theatre had outlived thousands of other 35mm porn houses across the continent. By the mid-to-late '80s, the advent of the VCR had massacred the adult movie theatre landscape, with the few survivors converting to video projection when the 35mm porn print distribution service crumbled into nothing. That meant no film prints, and no film prints meant no theatres.
Previously "The Savoy Cinema" in the early ‘80s, where owner/operator Sean Daly programmed 3D movies like THE STEWARDESSES, and HOUSE OF WAX, the venue became The Fox after a few years when an East Indian family bought the business and turned it into a porn theater. Instead of relying on a distributor like most smut houses, they bought over 150 adult film prints of their own to rotate in groups of two a week throughout the year. A few years after that Mr. Li and his wife bought the films and the building, and Li's cousin ended up buying the aforementioned Venus Theatre down the street as well.
With the laborious and thankless process of film projection compared with the utter ease of simply sticking a VHS tape or a DVD in a player, none of the other fuck-screens on the continent still had the gorgeous flicker of projected film on a celluloid screen. The Fox was now IT. A dinosaur. We were astounded.
Dmidtrui put in weeks of detective work to make absolutely sure there weren't any other screens still regularly playing 35mm porn, and despite a few fakers (there was one in Toronto that comes to mind) he was able to announce the fact that this was indeed the last one during a beer and sweat-soaked sold out screening of DEEP THROAT and BEHIND THE GREEN DOOR.
It was the evening of Saturday June 16th, 2001, and it was an enormously awesome evening for me, because it was the night that our neighbourhood was reintroduced to that stinky den of sin. For decades barely anyone except chronic masturbating old men had ventured through its doors, and now there was a line-up of nearly everyone I knew going down the fucking block, with about 70 people turned away at the door. Dmidtrui had pulled off something special, and the raincoat regulars were totally confused.
"Jesus Christ!" one old booze hound exclaimed to me as he walked into the lobby, "I've been coming here for, well, what is it now? Well about 20 years I'll bet. 20 years, and I've never seen anything like this!"
I sold $140 worth of Cinema Sewer to the masses, and positioned as I was next to the men's bathroom, I had the true pleasure of snorting lungfuls of festering stench all evening. The theatre itself, packed with sweating, scantily clad patrons also began to give off a rank odour, but I couldn't stop smiling. This type of seedy filthy atmosphere was the way these movies were meant to be seen. These people wouldn't ever forget this night. They were tourists in a den of depravity and filth (a place they wouldn't set foot in normally) but made safe for one night by the effect of "a happening."
Stepping into the Fox Cinema was like no other film experience I've ever had, but I can only assume that it was like legendary Time Square grindhouses such as the Avon, The Globe, and The Lyric. This was a cum-soaked time capsule that glides you right back to the late ‘70s, a cinema-going experience that simply didn't exist anymore to a generation of film fans obsessed with immaculate DVD transfers and THX surround sound. It felt nasty. It felt dirty. It made us feel alive.
Our experience watching films seated amongst the usual patrons on any given night (as well as our trips upstairs to the projection booth once Dmidtrui had befriended the Li's) told us that the quality of the prints ranged from abysmal to pretty decent. Taking into account that most of them have been played over and over for 15-20 years, they've held up retardedly well.
Surviving a night at the Fox was easier once you knew the unwritten rules. The middle of the theatre was a "no mans land". Sit there, and you're usually safe from being approached by gentlemen aching to suck your balls. The Cruising goes like so: you go for a saunter and find a suitable partner in the first few, or last few rows in the back. Then you sit down a couple seats away from them so this "patron of the arts" can size you up. If he moves closer, that means "rock on," and the pair will often move to some seats in the first three rows where blowjobs and/or handjobs take place, and once the dirty deed is done, gents usually leap from their seats and bolt for the back door. Friendly chit-chat of any kind is totally frowned upon.
"I loved that back exit. EVERYONE exited through there", my gay friend Spuzz told me when I asked him about cruising the Fox. "To be seen exiting was like a major thing". Spuzz told me lots of funny stories about being groped in the dark, the time a guy brought a girl in and everyone took turns banging her, and about the old fart who got in trouble for leaving his dick hanging out the front of his pants.
As ballsy as he was for taking part in sexual shenanigans with gawd-knows-who in the theater, even Spuzz didn't have the guts to venture into the men's room. Vanessa Del Rio once told me that she loved going into mens room's in porn theaters because the pheromone-heavy smell of men's piss makes her horny. She would have loved the Fox. Walking through the door to that dank graffiti-scrawled shit-pit was like being boxed in the face with a glove made out of sweat, cum and urine.
I witnessed some pretty amazing situations and met some interesting people, myself. Watching Dmidtrui almost get in a fist fight in the lobby with two extremely upset female theater-goers who seemed intent on getting their money back because they disagreed with the concept of depictions of sex mixed with violence in 1977's DISCO DOLLS was one such experience. The two were wracked with righteous indignation and decided to make a major scene and tried to rile people up, but found zero takers for their cause, and were shown the door.
Another weird one during a screening of 1985's A COMING OF ANGELS (a great porn version of "Charlie's Angels") comes to mind: A reprobate who reeked of whiz snuck in the back door and confided to me in a slurred speech that he hated porn. The mere idea that a porn theater existed in his hood gave his rage enough fuel to "come down here and and fuckin' firebomb this place". Ironically, when confronted he contentedly coughed up $8 and took a seat. (??)
In August 2002 Ron Jeremy showed up for a night of porn trailers, and that was quite a scene. Witnessing usually chaste girls I knew pull their tits out for a hairy, old, short guy -- who if he wasn't famous, could be confused for a homeless street crazy -- was rather bizarre. But here these star-fuckers were, flipping their boobs out for him to sign, or dashing upstairs to the projectionists booth to double-team his groin in the tiny, cramped bathroom. After that he left the theatre and went to the Templeton cafe downtown where Ron got another blowjob in their bathroom from YET another desperate scenester. Wow, that's something to brag about... you got to suck the cock of a fat, sweaty, unfunny cheapskate along with a million other people over the last 30 years. Go you.
Soon after, Kier-La Janisse (Curator of the Cinemuerte film festival and then employee of Black Dog Video on Cambie Street) and several other partners arranged to take over the Fox on the weekends and make the theatre into a cult movie theatre under the name "Criminal Cinema". This was a fantastic idea which excited me to no end. Unfortunately, it was an idea that the Li's capitalised upon by charging an overinflated rental fee to the filmic entrepreneurs, pricing them right out of business.
Kier-la and crew made a valiant attempt to make the place a little more hospitable by ripping out the notorious elevated seating area at the back -- which was a trashed shitpit of broken movie seats and a dubious arena for patron's various sordid acts. They also slapped new paint on the walls, put a new carpet in the lobby, and arranged for an amazing mural of Scott Baio to be painted in the girls room. All at no fee to their unimpressed landlord.
It died nearly immediately due to a total lack of support from local moviegoers. None of the people who had been pleading for a retro grindhouse theatre that would play exploitation film prints showed up. My wife and I saw incredible rare screenings of EL TOPO, BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA, GIMMIE SHELTER and STREETS OF FIRE with an average "crowd" of ten people in a room that can fit 300.
Advertising was good, admission was only $5, and there was plenty of popcorn and cheap beer on tap. The only thing missing were people who would brave the Fox, people who weren't scared to walk through the door, people who weren't disgusted by what they thought it stood for. Film enthusiast and Cinema Sewer reader Kieran summed up the situation nicely:
"I went to the showing of BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA. I got there early with Kier-la, Darren and some others from the Black Dog crew. After downing a few beers and chatting, we ran outside for a quick smoke before the show began.The others finished first, and I was last to go in, extinguishing the smoke. Darren calls to me "Come on, it's starting", and just at that moment, a well-dressed woman is walking past the doors, she mutters aloud: "Yeah, you don't want to be late for the circle jerk, perv." I was fuckin' SPEECHLESS. I laughed and felt embarrassed/ashamed at the same time."
Keirien and I both figure that fear of incidents identical to the one he experienced were a major factor in keeping people away, but I don't care to allow supposed film fanatics to use it as an excuse. To this day I haven't forgiven the movie geeks in this city for dropping the ball on that one.
But the real heartbreak was yet to come.
Friday, July 17th 2003 was the last day the FOX screened 35mm prints before switching over to a DVD projection system. The theater still exists today screening modern porn DVD releases, but that was the day an era ended, and we saw the curtain draw on a long, sordid linage of pornographic history. The Fox: adult movie house for nearly twenty years, and the last (and perhaps longest running) 35mm porn theatre ever.
REST IN PEACE. I still miss you.
***
Doc here again... Have a report from an adult theater you'd like to see at The Journal? Email The Good Doctor at emiliolizardo1@gmail.com
As of right now, The Fox Theater is still open, but there is pressure from the Vancouver business licensing board to revoke their license. While their days may be numbered, it doesn't take away from this inside look at The Venus and The Fox.
***
The Venus and the Fox
by Robin Bougie
The Venus Theatre is what one might call a disgusting shithole. Located in Vancouver at 720 Main Street, in what most refer to as the toughest, roughest neighbourhood in all of Canada, the Venus is the kind of entertainment venue where you have to be a total badass to even show up -- heck there's a scary biker bar right next door. So why would one forego a nice relaxed jerk-off session provided by your home entertainment system for this inhospitable level of hell?
The element of danger, that's why. The streetwalking hookers. The drugs. The sleaze. The grime. The smell of sweat and sex. Oh, and pizza. They sold stale cardboard-looking pizza for 99 cents a slice in the lobby until just a couple years ago. I never worked up the nerve to put it my my mouth.
This classic two-tiered building (at one time a majestic vaudeville theatre called "THE IMPERIAL" which opened in 1912) is now the kinda smut den yo' mama warned you about, with the upper balcony where most of the public debauchery happens. You take your life in your hands going up those stairs, and a valid fear of touching any surface in the place is replaced by concern for falling flat on your ass due to the fact that the only light is provided by the crappy old-fashioned 3-light video system illuminating the screen with it's hardcore pink images flashing, flickering and moaning.
The scene is a tad nightmarish. Chairs held to together with duct tape, wads of used toilet paper on the floor, constant eerie moaning crackling out of the soundsystem speakers, the hazy stench of piss in the air -- and at any given time a guy getting sucked by a hooker or another guy. Humanoid shapes in the darkness take in the action, leering and waiting.
Couples can rent a VIP room and watch movies in private, but most freaks just crash out on one of the filthy couches positioned at the bottom of the balcony seating. Here they smoke some rock, get their cocks sucked, or watch someone else getting a BJ. But it's buyer beware, as the whores in there are diseased, practically feral, and been known to rip off their customers. The late ‘90s XXX video on the screen seems totally secondary, and just playing for atmosphere.
Rumor has it the owners are getting ready to sell the property, which will no doubt lead to it being bulldozed. Half-a-million dollar condos have sprung up all around the block the Venus inhabits, and with the real estate market the way it is in Vancouver right now, the smart money is on its demise coming much sooner than later. I'll be very surprised if it survives to 2008, in fact.
Further up the hill on Main street on the 2300 block is my neighbourhood porn theatre -- The Fox. I live about 7 blocks away, but for years never ventured anywhere near it since it was obvious that only gay dudes went in there to cruise for other gay dudes. Like the Venus, it seemed like asking for trouble to even buy a ticket, but as I became more entrenched in publishing my magazine Cinema Sewer, which is focused on classic porn and exploitation, getting to know the place on an intimate level became a priority.
I couldn't ignore the building's unique presence what with the constant 365-day-a-year screenings of old skool favourites starring naked luminaries such as Seka, Serena, John Holmes, and Jamie Gillis. I would go on to see some of my favourite porn films to this day in that theatre, sipping smuggled in beer and munching Chinese rice crackers.
My first experience at the Fox wasn't a great one. I walked in off the street and asked for an interview with the first person inside that I saw, which got me kicked right out of the place almost before I could finish my sentence. I mean, if the Chinese guy (who I later found out was a fellow named Mr. Li) working there had a broom in his hand, I'm sure he would have chased me out the door beating my head with it. I pointed at my camera and stammered out an assurance that I was friendly, and that I just wanted a few words with him -- but thanks to the language barrier and his intensely paranoid attitude, I didn't get any.
Quite by chance I later befriended a guy that would go on to become a Cinema Sewer contributor and stage his own successful "Return to Porno Chic" events at the Fox -- Dmidtrui Otis. He came into the music store I was working in and asked for porn soundtracks, and we found that we had a mutual interest in the history of these movies, as well as the Fox. A history that over the years we would excitedly share with one another as we deduced more and more of its timeline.
Our first exciting discovery (well OK -- it was Dmidtrui's discovery, but "our" sounds better) was that this unassuming little shit-scab of a theatre had outlived thousands of other 35mm porn houses across the continent. By the mid-to-late '80s, the advent of the VCR had massacred the adult movie theatre landscape, with the few survivors converting to video projection when the 35mm porn print distribution service crumbled into nothing. That meant no film prints, and no film prints meant no theatres.
Previously "The Savoy Cinema" in the early ‘80s, where owner/operator Sean Daly programmed 3D movies like THE STEWARDESSES, and HOUSE OF WAX, the venue became The Fox after a few years when an East Indian family bought the business and turned it into a porn theater. Instead of relying on a distributor like most smut houses, they bought over 150 adult film prints of their own to rotate in groups of two a week throughout the year. A few years after that Mr. Li and his wife bought the films and the building, and Li's cousin ended up buying the aforementioned Venus Theatre down the street as well.
With the laborious and thankless process of film projection compared with the utter ease of simply sticking a VHS tape or a DVD in a player, none of the other fuck-screens on the continent still had the gorgeous flicker of projected film on a celluloid screen. The Fox was now IT. A dinosaur. We were astounded.
Dmidtrui put in weeks of detective work to make absolutely sure there weren't any other screens still regularly playing 35mm porn, and despite a few fakers (there was one in Toronto that comes to mind) he was able to announce the fact that this was indeed the last one during a beer and sweat-soaked sold out screening of DEEP THROAT and BEHIND THE GREEN DOOR.
It was the evening of Saturday June 16th, 2001, and it was an enormously awesome evening for me, because it was the night that our neighbourhood was reintroduced to that stinky den of sin. For decades barely anyone except chronic masturbating old men had ventured through its doors, and now there was a line-up of nearly everyone I knew going down the fucking block, with about 70 people turned away at the door. Dmidtrui had pulled off something special, and the raincoat regulars were totally confused.
"Jesus Christ!" one old booze hound exclaimed to me as he walked into the lobby, "I've been coming here for, well, what is it now? Well about 20 years I'll bet. 20 years, and I've never seen anything like this!"
I sold $140 worth of Cinema Sewer to the masses, and positioned as I was next to the men's bathroom, I had the true pleasure of snorting lungfuls of festering stench all evening. The theatre itself, packed with sweating, scantily clad patrons also began to give off a rank odour, but I couldn't stop smiling. This type of seedy filthy atmosphere was the way these movies were meant to be seen. These people wouldn't ever forget this night. They were tourists in a den of depravity and filth (a place they wouldn't set foot in normally) but made safe for one night by the effect of "a happening."
Stepping into the Fox Cinema was like no other film experience I've ever had, but I can only assume that it was like legendary Time Square grindhouses such as the Avon, The Globe, and The Lyric. This was a cum-soaked time capsule that glides you right back to the late ‘70s, a cinema-going experience that simply didn't exist anymore to a generation of film fans obsessed with immaculate DVD transfers and THX surround sound. It felt nasty. It felt dirty. It made us feel alive.
Our experience watching films seated amongst the usual patrons on any given night (as well as our trips upstairs to the projection booth once Dmidtrui had befriended the Li's) told us that the quality of the prints ranged from abysmal to pretty decent. Taking into account that most of them have been played over and over for 15-20 years, they've held up retardedly well.
Surviving a night at the Fox was easier once you knew the unwritten rules. The middle of the theatre was a "no mans land". Sit there, and you're usually safe from being approached by gentlemen aching to suck your balls. The Cruising goes like so: you go for a saunter and find a suitable partner in the first few, or last few rows in the back. Then you sit down a couple seats away from them so this "patron of the arts" can size you up. If he moves closer, that means "rock on," and the pair will often move to some seats in the first three rows where blowjobs and/or handjobs take place, and once the dirty deed is done, gents usually leap from their seats and bolt for the back door. Friendly chit-chat of any kind is totally frowned upon.
"I loved that back exit. EVERYONE exited through there", my gay friend Spuzz told me when I asked him about cruising the Fox. "To be seen exiting was like a major thing". Spuzz told me lots of funny stories about being groped in the dark, the time a guy brought a girl in and everyone took turns banging her, and about the old fart who got in trouble for leaving his dick hanging out the front of his pants.
As ballsy as he was for taking part in sexual shenanigans with gawd-knows-who in the theater, even Spuzz didn't have the guts to venture into the men's room. Vanessa Del Rio once told me that she loved going into mens room's in porn theaters because the pheromone-heavy smell of men's piss makes her horny. She would have loved the Fox. Walking through the door to that dank graffiti-scrawled shit-pit was like being boxed in the face with a glove made out of sweat, cum and urine.
I witnessed some pretty amazing situations and met some interesting people, myself. Watching Dmidtrui almost get in a fist fight in the lobby with two extremely upset female theater-goers who seemed intent on getting their money back because they disagreed with the concept of depictions of sex mixed with violence in 1977's DISCO DOLLS was one such experience. The two were wracked with righteous indignation and decided to make a major scene and tried to rile people up, but found zero takers for their cause, and were shown the door.
Another weird one during a screening of 1985's A COMING OF ANGELS (a great porn version of "Charlie's Angels") comes to mind: A reprobate who reeked of whiz snuck in the back door and confided to me in a slurred speech that he hated porn. The mere idea that a porn theater existed in his hood gave his rage enough fuel to "come down here and and fuckin' firebomb this place". Ironically, when confronted he contentedly coughed up $8 and took a seat. (??)
In August 2002 Ron Jeremy showed up for a night of porn trailers, and that was quite a scene. Witnessing usually chaste girls I knew pull their tits out for a hairy, old, short guy -- who if he wasn't famous, could be confused for a homeless street crazy -- was rather bizarre. But here these star-fuckers were, flipping their boobs out for him to sign, or dashing upstairs to the projectionists booth to double-team his groin in the tiny, cramped bathroom. After that he left the theatre and went to the Templeton cafe downtown where Ron got another blowjob in their bathroom from YET another desperate scenester. Wow, that's something to brag about... you got to suck the cock of a fat, sweaty, unfunny cheapskate along with a million other people over the last 30 years. Go you.
Soon after, Kier-La Janisse (Curator of the Cinemuerte film festival and then employee of Black Dog Video on Cambie Street) and several other partners arranged to take over the Fox on the weekends and make the theatre into a cult movie theatre under the name "Criminal Cinema". This was a fantastic idea which excited me to no end. Unfortunately, it was an idea that the Li's capitalised upon by charging an overinflated rental fee to the filmic entrepreneurs, pricing them right out of business.
Kier-la and crew made a valiant attempt to make the place a little more hospitable by ripping out the notorious elevated seating area at the back -- which was a trashed shitpit of broken movie seats and a dubious arena for patron's various sordid acts. They also slapped new paint on the walls, put a new carpet in the lobby, and arranged for an amazing mural of Scott Baio to be painted in the girls room. All at no fee to their unimpressed landlord.
It died nearly immediately due to a total lack of support from local moviegoers. None of the people who had been pleading for a retro grindhouse theatre that would play exploitation film prints showed up. My wife and I saw incredible rare screenings of EL TOPO, BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA, GIMMIE SHELTER and STREETS OF FIRE with an average "crowd" of ten people in a room that can fit 300.
Advertising was good, admission was only $5, and there was plenty of popcorn and cheap beer on tap. The only thing missing were people who would brave the Fox, people who weren't scared to walk through the door, people who weren't disgusted by what they thought it stood for. Film enthusiast and Cinema Sewer reader Kieran summed up the situation nicely:
"I went to the showing of BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA. I got there early with Kier-la, Darren and some others from the Black Dog crew. After downing a few beers and chatting, we ran outside for a quick smoke before the show began.The others finished first, and I was last to go in, extinguishing the smoke. Darren calls to me "Come on, it's starting", and just at that moment, a well-dressed woman is walking past the doors, she mutters aloud: "Yeah, you don't want to be late for the circle jerk, perv." I was fuckin' SPEECHLESS. I laughed and felt embarrassed/ashamed at the same time."
Keirien and I both figure that fear of incidents identical to the one he experienced were a major factor in keeping people away, but I don't care to allow supposed film fanatics to use it as an excuse. To this day I haven't forgiven the movie geeks in this city for dropping the ball on that one.
But the real heartbreak was yet to come.
Friday, July 17th 2003 was the last day the FOX screened 35mm prints before switching over to a DVD projection system. The theater still exists today screening modern porn DVD releases, but that was the day an era ended, and we saw the curtain draw on a long, sordid linage of pornographic history. The Fox: adult movie house for nearly twenty years, and the last (and perhaps longest running) 35mm porn theatre ever.
REST IN PEACE. I still miss you.
***
Doc here again... Have a report from an adult theater you'd like to see at The Journal? Email The Good Doctor at emiliolizardo1@gmail.com
Friday, May 14, 2010
Special Announcement: Big Party at The Colony Theater in East St. Louis THIS FRIDAY!
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Thursday, May 13, 2010
Blast from the Past! The Jefferson Theater: Part 2
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Blast from the Past! The Jefferson Theater in Portland, OR: Part 1
The Jefferson
original entrance, c1982
Doc here with the first in a series of historical articles and reports from now-closed The Jefferson Theater in Portland, OR. The "Jeff" was the best example of the best of the best adult theaters in the country for many many years. Once again, our travel guide for this trip will be Brent, the poet laureate of "this thing of our's".
Brent
"The Author, at home"
A lady E-Mailed me recently about going to the Jefferson Theater. She is a little bit nervous and scared about what might happen to her, there. If she is lucky, nothing will happen to her there. If she is really lucky EVERYTHING will happen to her there. Seriously, I tried to tell her that it's not all that bad, once you are in the couples' section. Its always better when there are other couples playing.
The Jefferson Theater is a theater that shows X- Rated movies and encourages the audience to explore their sexual fantasies while they are there. You have to be a member in good standing (!) to participate in the Jefferson experience. The Jefferson Experience varies from hour to hour, day to day; and week to week. One hundred different people can have one hundred different experiences at the same time and they are all Jefferson Experiences. At its best, the place is electric with sex.
A current of eroticism runs through it and gently shocks everyone. At it's worst , its a gay geriatric flop house for the hygienically challenged. Those are the times that it is a typical Porno Theater, a refuge from time, the outside world and your crummy life.
Part of the "charm' of the Jefferson is it's Porn Theater ambience. I believe couples get turned on by the seediness. The Oregon Theater is actually seedier. It's bigger and dingier and the movies are all at least ten years old (Hello, hairy pussies).
Last week was Spring Break week. Sunday was Easter. There were a lot of red erections, Saturday night at the Jefferson Theater. During the previous week, I chose the wrong nights to visit. I went Monday and
Wednesday and the hot action was on Tuesday and Thursday. I heard from one source that there was a sexy sluttish looking black woman in with her boyfriend on Tuesday and that she had sex with some of the guys . I
can't confirm this and I was unable to get more details about her adventures. Sorry I can't be more descriptive, but I'll post it anyway. Same with Thursday. I heard there were five couples in and they all played or showed off. The guy told me that it was more like a Friday Night on Thursday. I must be getting lazy. In the old days I would have been there every night. It's just that there are so many hot couples and women who visit the Jefferson, that I know I will catch action at least once a week. It's like a Field Of Wet Dreams.
I finally caught some action on Friday Night. At first I wasn't going to go down. I was tired and tooth 18 was throbbing in pain. But I decided to check it out anyway. I walked into the auditorium part of the theater and immediately knew there was something going on. It's always a rush to walk into an Adult Theater when there is action. Friday ,the first thing I thought was "Who is she and what is she doing?" She looked like Cagney or Lacey. She was good looking, probably in her mid fifties. She had short gray hair that was cut nicely.. She had a pretty good body. It looked like the kind of body that had been fucked a number of times by a number of guys, with a pizza afterwards.
She was down on the stage and was surrounded by men. One tall, thin, young black man was mounting her like a grasshopper. Her legs were spread wide. He hairy pussy was wet with excitement and sweat. One man was kneeling by her mouth, feeding her his cock while another guy played with her big floppy boobs and still another guy had placed his most important possession, his dick, in her hands.
I watched for a while. She was at the tail end of her impromptu theater gang bang. Her husband was watching from the audience. I was told that they had been there for most of the evening and she had already fucked about ten guys. It looked to me like she was ready to fuck ten more. By the time I got there most of the guys had left her but I imagine it had been a big cluster fuck earlier.
I wasn't going to stay long. I wanted to go home and knock myself out. But watching the lady get fucked on the stage by a few guys had released some endorphins into my system and I was feeling pretty good. I decided to stay and watch the couples in the couples section.
There was a woman, around 40 years old in there with her boyfriend. I know her.. She is a cheerful looking woman with a nice big body and knockers that are KNOCKERS. She and I had fun at the Oregon last week. She likes to ski outside the trails. Her boyfriend doesn't. Their visit on Friday was limited to fucking each other in the couples section and an occasional foray out into the audience to watch Nymphomaniac Granny fuck all comers. They stood pretty close and I thought "I bet she wishes that she was up there getting fucked".
The other couple that was in there was D, the dominant one and his hot Asian Girlfriend whose only fault (mine too) is that she talks too much. The only relevant thing. I heard her say was "Where is Brent.?" She wanted me to play with her and after a moments hesitation, I obliged. She walked out of the couples section, totally naked. She is in her forties but could pass as a school girl. She has a soft ,small body with smallish breasts. She is very erotic.
I took her down to one of the benches down by the stage. A large group of men followed us. Her boyfriend left her with me. I'm not sure where he went. We started kissing and feeling each other up. She lay down on
the bench and I put my face between her legs. I began to lick her sweet, shaved pussy. I heard her moan in pleasure. It was very encouraging. I stuck a couple of fingers into her pussy. and worked them in and out of her. I felt her constrict around my fingers .She was having a good time and I felt honored to be part of it. I sensed the other guys around me but I didn't really see them. I couldn't tell if others were feeling her up because my field of vision was her lower body. I decided to take a break. Another man took my place. I
reassured her that he was just as good at oral sex as me, even though I didn't know the guy. She checked with her boyfriend and he seemed okay with it so there was a new tongue in Tuna Town. I walked out and stood by the couples section. My friend was still there, playing with her man. I looked down to the front of the theater where I had just been.
There were about 15 men clustered around the hot girl I had just been with. I could hear her cry out in lust and Jefferson Theater ecstasy. It was a nice sight. I went home and slept like the innocent man I think I am. The next day I heard there was action later that night. "Young,' 'Hot', "Stayed By Themselves" were some of the words I heard to describe the late Friday action.
I didn't know what to expect at the Jefferson on Saturday night. After all, it was the day before Easter. But I doubt if that means anything to those who enjoy or want to enjoy the Jefferson Experience. Once, many years ago ,I spent a memorable Easter Saturday at the Adult Theaters in Albuquerque. At that time, it was an amazing night. I still remember it. Couple after couple kept coming in and fucking guys. One woman took half of the Madam X Theater to her motel room for a White Trash Slut gang bang. This was pre Aids and pre condom, so she got very sloppy after about the eight guy had come inside her. I remember I got laid four times by four different women, that night. The last was a beautiful young black girl in her and her husband's hotel room.
Ever since that night, I've always looked forward to Easter Saturday. Nothing like that has happened since that time over 20 years ago; but I keep coming back.
Theater Sex with hot couples has been going on for a long time in middle America. Before that, I guess public sex happened at Drive Inns, cocktail parties and Fraternity Houses.Where did people go to show off and have sex with strangers before swing clubs, glory holes and porn theaters? Where did Mrs. Cleaver go to get gang banged?
I walked in to the Jefferson Theater around 9:30 on Saturday night. There were two women in the couples section when I arrived. They were young, sweet, a little shy and very sexy. Men were lined up around the
couples section watching them. They were doing nothing. I sat down in the front of the theater and talked to a guy about The Power Exchange in San Francisco. I hear it's a Mecca for unusual sex. The Mecca in
Tacoma is not a Mecca for straight couples having unusual sex. It discourages it. That's okay. The couples can come to Portland.
We wondered how long before the two girls got up and left. It has to be creepy having all those guys stare at you, when you are just sitting there. Except if its me who is staring. Then it isn't creepy. It's sexy.
End of Part 1
***
The Jefferson was an ideal adult theater, for both the active participant, or the active voyeur. The DNA of the Jefferson now exisits at The Paris Theater in Portland. The Jefferson and The Paris both have their own pros and cons...The bottom line is that The Paris exists, whereas The Jefferson does not any longer.
The King is dead...Long live The King.
Stay tuned for Part 2 on this same channel.
Thanks,
Doc
New Feature! Classic Coming Attractions
Doc here with a brand new feature here at The Good Doctor's Journal of Adult Theaters: It's time to take a walk down memory lane with classic 70's and 80's x-rated coming attractions.
Here is the trailer for "Insatiable", the infamous meeting of two porn legends: Marilyn Chambers and John Holmes. Sit back and enjoy...Dr.'s orders.
Here is the trailer for "Insatiable", the infamous meeting of two porn legends: Marilyn Chambers and John Holmes. Sit back and enjoy...Dr.'s orders.
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