Thursday, July 6, 2017

Flash Report! Dry Clean Only Hits Odyssey II in Battle Creek, MI in April 2017!

Doc here, a man who some say lives, breathes, and eats The Merengue, with a informative Flash Report on one of the more mysterious adult theater/ABS combos I have come across in this thing of ours, Odyssey II in Battle Creek, MI. Luckily for us, senior Journal scribe Dry Clean Only has taken one for the team, dropped a few shekels, and has reported by To The Good Doctor.

What say you, Dry Clean Only?



I've learned that it's a team effort in this thing of ours.  Without the couples, we wouldn't be here.  Without the infrequent appearances of the single ladies, our imaginations would be dimmed.  Without the theaters (and their owners who seem to be fighting a gentrified city hall more often than not these days), there would be no common meeting ground for friends and strangers alike to soak in the scene.  Without a captain, the team falls apart.  Thank the Gods for our teammates, in this thing of ours, and especially our valiant Captain, Dr. Lizardo!

In the spirit of teamwork, I put a few hours of unexpected free time (and $100 for the rental car) to use in an unexpected city (thank you, Delta) recently to do some fact checking on an establishment our Captain hasn't received a solid report on recently.  Unfortunately, timing wasn't great:  It was an unusually warm and sunny April day in Northern Michigan (85deg!), and my hour of arrival was late afternoon --- neither of which lend themselves too well to small town theater hijinks. 

But, I knew a reliable report was needed in our database for teammates considering a swing through Battle Creek, MI, so I took one for the team. 

I found Odyssey II at 567 East Michigan Ave in Battle Creek, MI to be in a well-kept, off-the-beaten trail backside of an industrial manufacturing campus.  The front of the building housed a "Spa", the back housed "Odyssey", and next door was a VFW Post.  Both buildings had about half a dozen cars each out front.
Odyssey II
Battle Creek, MI
I parked along the side entrance of the building and entered into Odyssey.  There is a large central retail counter, where I struck up conversation with the clerk on duty.  I always walk in and say, "Hello, I've never been in before, what can you tell me?"  Without fail, 85% of the time, the clerk becomes quite happy to chat and show you around.  This gent didn't leave his post, but gave me the scoop on what they have to offer, ticket pricing, specials, monthly raffles, merchandise sales, etc.  And, a huge conversation about Star Wars ensued.  

However, what was interesting to me was the fact that the "Spa" at the front of the building had an entrance from within Odyssey.  You could see into a waiting area, with a couple of well dressed, good looking 20-something ladies checking their phones while they waited for the next massage client.  I later learned that  massages are $100, and of course the fees are negotiable.  

So, there's quite a variety of DVD's, and a relatively small selection of toys.  There is a decent bathroom with door that locks, and it was spacious and relatively clean. In fact, the whole place was well kept.  

To the right, there's a theater with high ceilings.  About 17'wide and 35' deep.  Large projection screen format with auditorium-style seats... about 30 of them.  There were two guys stroking to the straight movies shown in there when I arrived.  
Odyssey II
Battle Creek, MI
In the middle and down the hall, there is a dark series of smaller nooks, each with a large flat screen TV.  As I recall, one TV was off, and no chairs.  The next had a sofa and TV showing some gay porn.  The third room was a small "living room" setup --- sofas and chairs --- with a large TV showing gay stuff.  One guy entertaining himself. 

Then, around the back of the retail counter, there is another room.  It has high ceilings and is quite dark.  Probably 20' wide, and 50' long.   Sofas and end tables along one of the 50' walls.  Along the other 50' walls were three viewing booths --- not arcade-style.  They each had a sofa facing an LCD TV mounted at 8' with those beaded-string-curtains from the 1970's separating the booths from the hallway.  A couple guys were in a couple booths.  Two guys milling about, and one guy on the sofa.  From the sofas along the main wall, you can't see the TV's.  The TV's show a different genre of adult entertainment in each booth, on a rotating basis.  I can imagine some fun times in this area of the establishment with the right crowd.  

In conversation with the clerk, they do get couples, more so on weekends, but no themed events.  All-in-all it seemed to me like clean, discrete, good variety, friendly staff, accepting of play... and the possibility of a happy ending if the couple of your dreams didn't make it in during your visit. 

Hoping the Theater Gods appreciate and remember my service and sacrifice for the team's good!

PS: My trip also led me to a fascinating discovery.  Hiding in plain sight, I stumbled upon the front company for The Journal's operations (photo attached)​.
(ed. note: The Good Doctor knows nothing of this high end research facility located in the Spring Bush Industrial Park, next door to a used copier reseller, and across the street from Miss Tiffany's All-Star Dance Studio).


Doc here again... Many thanks to Dry Clean Only for being a team player, and dropping down a sacrifice bunt for adult theater enthusiasts. Excellent job on the report, sir!

In The Good Doctor's travels through Battle Creek, I have driven by this location a few times (albeit late at night), and have never seen a car within 50 yards of the place. However, now armed with intel on this theater/ABS/spa, I will stop in.

Mission accomplished, DCO!