Monday, April 8, 2013

Blast From The Past: ChromeTool Reflects on the Grand Rapids Scene

Doc here with a long overdue Blast From The Past Report from regular contributor ChromeTool. In this Blast, he takes a look at the scene from his hometown of Grand Rapids, Michigan.
 
Enjoy this trip down memory lane...
 
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Good Day Dr. L,
 
I've been enjoying your unique brand of blog content for some some time now, and enjoying this thing of ours for a helluva lot longer. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for all your splendid work in this regard!
 
I've been lucky enough to witness firsthand, the evolution of the local XXX Theater industry in the past 30+years. To sum it all up, Times They Are A Changing (Neil Young, 1973), and my hometown Grand Rapids (the second largest city in the great state of Michigan) has seen its fair share.
 
Now, for all you young-un's in the crowd, back in the day these theaters used actual reel to reel video tape projectors! You take a 4 foot tall machine, load it up with a 30" film reel, then hit the start switch to turn on the 1000 watt light bulb and start the clickitty-clack film feeder. Usually, it only took a minute or two to change flicks, unless stoner Andy was working that day. Otherwise he might take 6 minutes to change films, then end up with a machine jam-up where you literally saw the film melt on screen...  then after another 10 minutes of splicing and whatnot, you'd only have to ask him 3 or 4 times to focus the machine...
 
Those Were The Days (Mary Hopkins, 1968) and we had three excellent venues to visit back then:
 
The Burton Capri was originally a big screen feature film theater that probably sat more than 300. The place was HUGE. I recall watching the original Behind The Green Door and Deep Throat there a few years after they debuted. Couples were frequent, but playtime unfortunately was not. This probably had something to do with the 1/2 acre of seating and me being a newbie player...

 
The Red Barn was a converted fast food joint turned mini theater. It sat about 50 with a stage under the screen for "Live Strippers". It was way cool. For $6, you could watch porn for a couple hours, then get treated to a live show while being patient for the real thing. And these girls were some pretty hot pro's, traveling the country to strut their stuff (and make a few bucks on the side, or so I was told :).  Interestingly, I got more invites to go home with couples there than I had actual in-theater sexcapades.

 
The Cina-Mini was my favorite among the bunch. Nestled in a storefront on a old major thoroughfare, and sandwiched between a church and some old houses, this place made their patrons feel welcome. The old owner Earl, used to set a nice table of exotic liqueurs for all the regulars on Xmas eve and New Years eve. And, it's still open for business to this day! I saw a lot of action there over the years with the most memorable tidbits being:
 
- The lonely guy who brought in a different streetwalker every time to orally service all (I wonder what that cost him).
- The single gal who stepped out during the day from her home for the mentally ill. I'm not shitting you, she was goofy as hell too, but knew how to multitask with 3 Jimmy Deans while remaining seated the whole time (it's a real bitch while she's stretched out in her seat and you're trying to keep up the deep dicking at a 45 degree angle).

 
- The lady who wouldn't let go. She was a large woman with the biggest, flabbiest tits I've ever fondled in real life. Once she sucked you dry, she wanted to suck you RAW. I never saw anyone donkey punch her, but you had to literally pry her head off your meat and then check your package for bite marks (it was hilarious as hell to watch a first-timer get head from her).
 
- The Oriental Smorgasbord. Picture three couples. Then picture the trim Asian Hottie in the group with milk white skin and long black hair stripping naked. Next thing you know, she lays across the collective laps of the others in the group and they proceed to 100% work her over good. (WOW!)
 
- There was also one time when ex-wife #2 got extra tipsy, slipped into a fishnet body stocking and high heels, then covered up with a raincoat. We arrived at the Mini at prime time and turned the place into a zoo.... it was total barrel of monkey fun time! She probably should have left the raincoat on because it was raining sperm that night (In the end, I had to literally drag her outta there and a line of partially satisfied patrons begged to follow us home).
Oh yes those were the days my friends. May you always feel Forever Young (Rod Stewart, 1988).
 
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Doc here again... Many thanks to ChromeTool for the terrific Blast From The Past Report.  Keep cranking them out, sir.
 
Thanks,
Doc